STAINED
by KatelynnBB
Summary: Nell is an unwed mother with a dark past. Sid is a devil-may-care rogue living his best life. With no where else to go Father Brown allows Nell to stay in Sid's vacant caravan, but our favorite bad boy makes a surprise return home to find things are not as they once were. She doesn't trust him, he's intrigued by her...but will the stains of her past be too much?
1. Prologue and First Meetings

_**Another Sid fic!**_

_**This takes place during season 7. So there are SPOILERS! **_

_**Here's a little backstory for those of you who may not know. In season 7 there's an episode where an unwed mother has a baby and needs a place to stay. She winds up staying with Mrs. M, but I had other ideas. **_

_**Nell moves into Sid's vacant caravan instead of in with Mrs. M. **_

_**There is a TRIGGER WARNING! Rape. Nell (the mother) was raped by a man and became pregnant in the show. We will talk about that here. Be warned this will have a darker theme than my other Sid fic. Not depressing, just a more adult vibe.**_

_**Okay, enough of my ramblings.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

**Prologue.**

Nell climbed in the caravan and took a look around. It was in a state, and had a musty smell. She left the door open, and laid her baby boy down on the bed. She opened a window to let in some fresh air.

"Knock knock." Father Brown tapped on the door.

Nell turned, "Hello Father, please come in."

"I'm so sorry the caravan is in such a mess. Unfortunately, Sid isn't known for his housekeeping skills. I did hope to get here before you and clean up a bit."

Nell smiled, "It's no problem, Father. I appreciate having somewhere to stay."

"Well, seeing as Sid is travelling with Lady Felicia I didn't see why we couldn't put his caravan to good use."

Just then the baby started to fuss. Nell held her child tightly. "I'm so thankful that we are able to be together. Thank your friend for me, please."

Father Brown smiled at her. "Mrs. McCarthy will be by later with some provisions."

"Thank you, I'm so grateful. Just until I get myself on my feet. I'm going to make a good life for my son." she insisted.

"I know you will, Nell." Father Brown patted her hand.

"I have a job. At the bakery in town. It's not much...but it's something,"

"That is wonderful news!" the Father exclaimed, "Where will you leave he little one?"

"The baker's wife has agreed to watch him while I work. At least until I can find someone else."

Nell sounded sad. Leaving her newborn to go to work would be a challenge for the new mother.

"Well, since I'm here let me clear away some of Sid's things out of your way."

"Thank you, Father. I wouldn't want to misplace any of his things." Nell said quietly.

They helped each other rearrange and tidy up the caravan until Mrs. McCarthy arrived.

**Chapter One**

Nell wiped her brow, and without realizing smeared flour onto her forehead. She heard the bell on the bakery door alerting her that there was a customer. The owner had stepped out and Nell was manning the bakery all by herself. She'd been working for him for three months and she appreciated that he trusted her enough to leave her in charge.

"Can I help you?" she asked her customer, a tall dark-haired man.

He stared at her blankly for a moment, amused by her floury complexion, "Yeah, I'll have a loaf of wheat bread, and," he paused thoughtfully, "A blueberry muffin."

"Sure,"

She went about wrapping up his order. "You're in luck. I just pulled a batch of these from the oven."

"Reckon it's my lucky day," he said with a wink.

Nell could tell he was flirting, but a woman in her position had no business entertaining such thoughts. She gave him his change and watched him walk away. She had a painful past, and sometimes the yearning she felt for comfort and safety almost swallowed her whole.

She glanced at the clock. It was almost closing time, thank goodness. She was dead on her feet, and she missed her baby boy. It was a long walk back to her caravan and if she wanted to make it before dark she needed to get a move on finishing her tasks.

_Not your caravan..._

She reminded herself. Still, it had become home over the past few months. It gave her a sense of independence. She loved being a mother more than she ever thought possible. Watching her baby grow everyday was an amazing feeling. She still hadn't given him a proper name, she only called him "Bub".

"Almost time to close up, Nell." the baker informed her as he breezed back into the shop.

"Yes, Mr. Elloitt." she agreed.

"I see you've got everything almost finished here." he smiled proudly.

"Yes sir."

"I can lock up and put these things away," he told her, "You go on and get that precious boy of yours and head home."

"Are you sure?" she asked timidly.

He took the broom from her hands, "Yes! No go on."

"Thank you!" she beamed.

She untied her apron and hung it on the peg by the back door. She slipped out and headed next door to the Elliott's house to fetch Bub. He smiled when she picked him and rewarded her with a coo. She swaddled him closely and began her nightly walk home. Thankfully, it was still plenty light out. Spring had come to Kembleford.

New flowers were blooming, mornings were misty and warm and there was a promise of new things in the air. Almost a feeling that anything could happen. Her feet and arms were aching by the time they reached the caravan. Nell sunk down onto the bed and immediately fed Bub. He'd began to fuss heavily the last five minutes of their journey.

Once he was settled she went outside and made a fire. She heated her water and brought it into the caravan to bathe herself. Stripping off completely, she put her dirty work clothes in a laundry sack. Mrs. McCarthy had been kind enough to allow Nell to do her laundry at her house.

Dusk was fast approaching so she lit the lantern before finding her wash cloth and lathering it with soap. It smelled so good. Something gentle enough that she could use on Bub as well as herself. She didn't mind smelling like a baby, she rather enjoyed it. She smiled to herself as she continued her basin bath.

Without warning the door to the caravan swung wide open and a man stepped inside. Nell screamed blue murder and made an attempt to cover herself.

"Get out!" she tried to hide the fear in her voice but to no avail.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you." the man said. "Who are you?"

"Stop looking at me! You!?" she recognized him as the man from the bakery.

Just then, Bub started to cry, awoken from her screams.

The man averted his eyes. "I live here. You mind tellin' me what you're doin' here?"

Nell slipped her robe on over her bare body and picked up her baby.

"Sid?" she questioned.

The man looked up, "Yeah. How did you know?"

"I'm Nell. Father Brown has been letting me stay here while you're away."

Sid eyed the young woman and the baby and knew at once there was a lot more to this story.

"Nice of him to tell me." he scoffed.

"Please don't throw us out. We don't have anywhere else to go!" Nell pleaded.

Her entire body was visibly shaking. Sid felt sorry for the poor girl. Still, this was his home. He was planning on staying put for a bit this time, and now he had nowhere to stay.

"Look, it's getting late. I'll sleep outside tonight." he said.

He stepped around her and rummaged under the bed for an extra blanket. It seemed odd to Nell. She knew this was his home, but having someone that was a stranger to her know exactly where things were was still odd.

He was outside within an instant and the slamming of the door made her jump. She felt exposed, and rocked to her core. Would he take all this away from her? She was just beginning to feel settled.

And not so very deep down there was another emotion.

Dark.

Dirty.

Terrifying.

He'd seen her naked body. It scared her. She still bore the scars from the evil reverend. The memories burned into her mind and body. They were tormenting on the best days. He'd forced himself onto her. Multiple times.

She'd vowed never to let a man see her unclothed without her permission ever again...

That vow was just shattered.

Once Bub was settled again she peeked out the curtain to get a glimpse of the man who had invaded her privacy. The sight of him filled her with fear, and she suddenly wished there was a lock on the caravan door.

She got no sleep that night watching him and making sure he wasn't there to hurt her or her baby. Regardless of his motives he'd just turned her life upside down.

_**Please review! **_


	2. Mystery

**Chapter Two **

The next morning Nell left just before the sun was up, as usual. Sid was sleeping on the ground next to the embers of the fire from last night. She slipped quietly by him. She wanted to run, as fast as she could, but she made her feet walk. She couldn't help the anxiety and fear she felt. It really seemed like her whole reality was crumbing.

If Sid was back where would she live?

After she dropped Bub off with Mrs. Elliott she made herself put those thoughts away. It was time to get to work, and she needed to have a clear mind. She only hoped Sid didn't come into the bakery again.

Meanwhile across town Sid was just waking up.

"You're gettin' too old to sleep on the ground, Sidney." he groaned to himself.

He stretched and eyed the caravan cautiously. No noise. No movement.

"Hello?" he knocked.

_Knocking on your own blessed door, Sidney._

He opened it and went inside. They were gone. For a moment he wondered if he had imagined the whole episode. No, usually naked women weren't telling him to leave them alone in his dreams. Plus, there weren't usually babies.

Father Brown.

He needed to talk to his sneaky friend right away and get this mess sorted out. His stomach grumbled and he thought about breakfast. Why not kill two birds with one stone? He made his way to the prespretary.

"Knock knock." he announced as he rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"Sid!" Father Brown exclaimed, "When did you get here?"

"Last night." he said as he plopped down into a chair at the table, "And funny you should ask because when I went home there was a girl there, and her baby! Thought I'd turned up at the wrong caravan! But turns out, _you _invited her to stay there."

"Yes, well-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sid asked as he stuffed a scone in his mouth.

"I meant to. I just...forgot," Father Brown told him.

Sid rolled his eyes. "What am I gonna do?"

"Nell's circumstances are complicated,"

"I could see that," Sid interjected.

"Yes, she didn't have anywhere else to go, and seeing as you weren't at home I thought you wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't have. But I'm home now so..."

"I'll get this sorted out. I promise. You could stay at Montague. I'm sure Lady Felicia wouldn't mind."

"I don't want to stay at Montague! I want to stay at my own home!"

"Maybe you could stay here for the week. We just won't be able to let the Bishop know of course."

"Naturally." Sid agreed.

"I'll go speak with Nell today."

Sid took another bite of scone to keep him from saying anything he'd regret. Then, he thought about the girl. He didn't want to see her thrown out on the street. He'd never do that. At the same time he really wanted to sleep in his own bed.

Later that day Father Brown went to see Nell at the bakery.

"Nell, I was hoping you had a moment to chat,"

Nell looked to Mr. Elliott who nodded his approval. She wiped her hands on her apron and walked around the counter.

"Father, I thought you said your friend knew about us? Are we going to be thrown out? We have no where else to go, Father!"

The urgency in her small voice melted Father Brown's heart.

"I meant to tell Sid, but I have to confess it did slip my mind."

"Father!" Nell hissed.

"I'll get this worked out. Sid has agreed to stay away for the week while I figure something out."

Tears welled in her eyes, but she shook her head. She knew it was foolish, but she'd come to think of the caravan as her home. She had no right, she understood that, but...

_Stupid girl._

Father Brown patted her shoulder. "Fear not." he told her.

Tucking his umbrella under his arm he turned and went on his way. Nell took a deep breath and got back to work, but her mind was never far away from the problem she now faced. With every ringing of the bell on the door her blood ran cold. She was terrified to see Sid again.

What would he say? What would he do? Would he tell anyone what he'd seen last night when he barged in to find her vulnerable?

"Nell," Mr. Elliott's voice pulled her out of her thoughts, "Why don't you fetch Bub and go on home. You look positively dead on your feet."

The old baker gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I don't know how I should take that, but I'm just going to say thank you and take you up on the offer."

"Good. I'll see you on Monday. Try and rest!" he urged her.

_Not likely._

That night after Bub was asleep Nell went out to make a fire. She wanted a hot cup of tea. There was a chill in the air. It had rained all day, and the wood was unfortunately drenched. Starting a fire was proving more difficult than she imagined.

_Just my luck._

Nell was about to give up when she heard someone approaching. Through the gray mist the figure of a man appeared.

Sid.

Nell stood with her back to the caravan door.

"Relax," he said, "I'm just here to get a few of my things."

She stared at him wide-eyed.

"Do you want some help with that?" he pointed to the non-existent fire.

"N-no." she stammered.

"Come on," he insisted.

He bent down and used his lighter to coax the fire to life within minutes.

"There. That's better,"

"Thank you." she whispered as she watched him carefully.

"Can I get my things now?" Sid asked as he stepped towards her.

Nell opened the caravan door and climbed inside. Sid followed her. He started putting some of his things in a bag. Nell stood protectively next to Bub watching his every move.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night." Sid said.

Nell didn't answer, and he didn't try to make further conversation. He glanced at the baby sleeping on his bed. His eyes flitted briefly to Nell. She looked so sad.

"I'll be on my way." he announced as he stepped outside.

Nell stood in the door and watched as his figure faded into the mist.

_**Thanks for reading! Please feel free the leave a review. **_


	3. The Storm

**Chapter Three**

Nell awoke in the night with a start. A clap of thunder shook the ground and rattled the entire caravan. Torrential rain pelted the caravan, and wind shook it back and forth wildly. She pulled back the curtain just as lightning lit up the sky. Her heartbeat sped up even as she told herself it was only a storm.

The rain and darkness made it impossible to see out into the night, but she had a feeling it was a bad one. She glanced over at Bub. He was still sleeping peacefully, thank goodness. The wind whipped around the caravan furiously, and Nell shuddered. She closed her eyes and prayed it would end soon.

_It was only a storm. _

Father Brown, Sid and Mrs. McCarthy sat around the kitchen table at the prespretary listening to the radio. There was a weather alert.

"Please remain indoors away from windows. Please do not travel." the monotone voice cautioned listeners.

Sid drummed his fingers on the table and thought about Nell. He knew first hand it wasn't safe for her in the caravan. The way the wind was blowing it could easily be overturned. The thought of her and her baby being stuck inside if something terrible happened overcame him. He stood from the table and grabbed his jacket.

"Sid! Where are you going?" Father Brown shouted after him.

"Sidney Carter!" Mrs. M called.

Without a word, or a second thought Sid ran out into the storm. Father Brown had a feeling he knew what Sid was up to. He only prayed that God would keep him safe. Him, and Nell and the baby.

What a trio they'd make, he thought. Then, he prayed some more.

Bub had woken and was crying frantically. Nell swaddled him close and held him tightly in her arms. She knew he sensed her fear, so she tried to be brave. The storm seemed to be getting worse the longer it raged. Storms like this were rare in these parts, and that fact only served to worsen her fear.

The wind howled around the caravan and it began to shake violently. The rain was deafening, and yet somehow thunder could easily be heard. It was dark, very dark save when the lightning lit up the sky. Nell was too terrified to move to light the lantern. All she could do was hold her baby boy tightly and pray.

She prayed that they would make it through this unharmed. She prayed for a miracle. Just then, the door swung wide open. Nell felt the cold wind blow around her. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Her vocal chords were paralyzed.

Lightning flashed across the sky and Nell fell back on the bed. The figure of a man was trying to close the door behind him. He made one more super human effort and the door slammed and latched. He was drenched from head to toe and holding a flashlight. He sat it on the shelf. Seeing his identity did nothing for Nell's nerves. She recoiled back further onto the bed.

"Nell! Nell, it's me!" Sid cried as he reached for her.

"What are you doing here?" she cried loudly over the storm.

Sid's intention had been to bring Nell and the baby back to the prespretary before the storm worsened, but by the time he got there he knew he couldn't risk taking them out in it. No, he would have to stay with them now.

They would weather this storm together.

The caravan rocked back and forth in the wind. Before Sid could answer the door flung open again and the rain and wind poured inside. Sid grabbed Nell and the baby and pulled them both against his chest on the bed, covering them with a blanket. The baby was crying, and so was Nell.

She tried to push him away before giving in and weeping against his chest with silent tears of fear.

"Shh, shh." he whispered to her.

His hands smoothed over her dark hair before wrapping around both her and the baby and bringing them closer.

_God, if you're there please let this storm end. _

Sidney Carter praying. Must be a miracle.

The flashlight rolled off the shelf and hit the floor causing it to turn off. They were in pitch black now. Nell clung to her baby, and let Sid cling to her. Whatever happened, she was thankful not to be alone. Bub tired out again and soon fell asleep against his mother's chest.

All at once the wind and rain seemed to ease. Sid threw the blanket off of them and stood to close the door.

"Do you got any towels?" he asked.

Nell laid Bub down and reached for the flashlight, shining it in Sid's direction.

"There, in the cupboard." she motioned behind him.

Sid smirked, that's exactly where he always kept them. He tossed her a couple and used the remaining few to dry the floor in front of the door. Nell quickly wrapped Bub in a dry, warm towel and laid him back down. She was soaked through and through, as was Sid. They both realized this too late, as all the towels were soaked with rain water.

Nell was shivering.

"Here," Sid grabbed a dry sweater from the cupboard and walked it to her.

She took it with a shaking hand, "Thank you."

The rain was still pelting the caravan heavily, but Sid could sense Nell was uncomfortable with his presence.

"I'll go-" he began to say, but she interrupted him.

"No. Please...stay."

"Are you sure?" he quirked an eyebrow at her.

"It's too dangerous out there right now."

He shook his head in agreement and turned back towards the cupboard. He rummaged around until he found something that was his. Without thinking he shed his wet clothes to change. Nell's heart froze in fear, but he never turned to her for anything.

"You better get out of those wet clothes." he cautioned her.

Nell looked down at the shirt she was still holding. "I, um..."

Sid got the message and turned his back towards her, "This better?"

_Not really_.

She realized she didn't have much choice so she quickly shed her nightgown and pulled on the sweater Sid had given her. She quickly realized it wasn't hers when it sank to her knees and swallowed her whole almost. She didn't care, in fact she was extremely grateful.

"Why did you come here?" she asked.

Sid turned around, "I was gonna bring you back to the Father's, but by the time I got here it was too bad."

"Oh." she whispered.

Sid raked a hand through his wet hair, "I know what it can be like stuck in this thing during a storm."

"Terrifying?"

Sid half chuckled, "Yeah."

Nell climbed under the blankets and Sid took a spot on the couch. He needed a cigarette...desperately. Between the rain and the baby he knew he wasn't going to be able to fullfil his need. The caravan was quieter now that the rain had slowed. The lightning calmed and all was dark. Nell could hear Sid breathing, and Bub snoring softly. It was almost hypnotic and without realizing she fell fast asleep.

When the rain stopped Sid quietly made his exit. He tip-toed into the prepretary in the early morning hours.

"Sid?" Father Brown said from the chair in his room.

"Father?" Sid answered.

"How is Nell?" he asked.

"Reckon that's where I was, do you?"

Father Brown gave him a knowing look.

Sid sighed, "She's all right."

"Good." Father Brown clasped his hands

"If you don't mind I need some sleep." Sid said.

"Of course."

The Father knew there were things he needed to caution Sid of about Nell. If the boy planned on spending any more time with her, he would need to know...Nell was fragile, and Sid was anything but.

Father Brown didn't want to see anyone get hurt.

At least not any more than they already had been...

_**Nell carries a lot of scars. Wounds of the mind and I do suspect of the body as well. Sid has no idea what he's walking into...yet, but I suspect he soon will.**_

_**Feel free to leave a review. **_

_**Thank you!**_


	4. Cold Hard Truth

**Chapter Four**

Sid stared down at his beer blankly. He'd been analyzing it for the past half hour. The Father had just told him Nell's story. He felt sick...numb. He didn't know her that well, but that didn't stop him from feeling deeply. She had a baby...Sid knew there would be a story there.

But he never expected...

Taken advantage of.

Used.

Abused.

Ridiculed.

Judged.

Sid shuddered. That poor girl. The more he thought about it the more everything made sense. She was always so...timid and somewhat paranoid around him. After what she had been through he clearly understood why. Now he knew her story and there was only one problem.

He wasn't sure how to proceed from here.

He never planned to hurt her. She had a baby. She wasn't the free and single type of girl he was used to messing around with. He couldn't help himself though, there was an attraction. An urge to protect even. Something he had never really felt before. It was all new to him.

The way Father Brown made it seem she wouldn't be interested in anything from him. He agreed, that's the message she had sent so far. Except for that night during the storm when she clung to him. When she asked him not to go.

But she was afraid then. It was fear making her cling to him, nothing more.

"Sid, I thought I'd find you here." Father Brown's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "But I see you're not drowning your sorrows yet." He glanced at his untouched beer.

Sid took a sip, "Was just about to start."

"I hope you understand why I told you."

Sid quirked an eyebrow, "I reckon I know. You've warned me off, haven't you?"

"No! On the contrary. I just wanted you to know more about her...for if things progress between the two of you."

"No chance of that. She's like a scared rabbit around me. No surprise though after what she went through." Sid slammed his beer down.

"It makes you angry." Father Brown said.

"Of course it makes me angry." Sid sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "It makes me wanna-" He bit his lip and curled his hands into fists.

"Violence is never the answer, Sid."

"Sometimes it is."

"Vengance is the Lord's." Father Brown told him, "I mean to say that the man responsible is dead. He was murdered."

"Good riddance." Sid took a long drink. "He's where he belongs."

"Of that I am sure." Father Brown agreed.

The week was near an end. Nell knew that meant she would probably have to move out of the caravan. She'd already braced herself for the news. She thought she hid her anxiety well, but clearly not because at the end of the day Mr. Elliott pulled her aside.

"Nell, before you head home there's something I'd like to talk about." he told her softly.

"Yes?"

"Firstly, are you happy here? At the bakery. I mean, do you enjoy the work?" he asked.

"Yes! I do enjoy it. Cooking is a passion of mine." she admitted.

"And you've got a knack for it."

She smiled her appreciation.

"As you know, the Mrs. and I are getting on in years and unfortunately we were never blessed with children of our own. Dottie, she loves watching your little Bub," Mr. Elliott said.

"I plan to retire soon. Very soon. My hands won't let me do this work much longer I'm afraid. The arthritis." he held up his hand that was beginning to gnarl. "I wonder, well _we hoped, _that you would take over the business."

"What?" the air rushed from Nell's lungs. "You aren't serious?"

"Of course I am, girl!"

"Mr. Elliott, I am so honored!"

"So, you'll do it?" he wanted to clarify.

"Of course! But, what will you do?"

"Dottie has a sister in Cornwall. She's been after us to retire for a while. A nice cottage by the sea awaits us."

Suddenly, Nell was very sad. "I will miss you."

"Keep calm, I'm not gone yet." he teased.

"Naturally, our cottage will go to you."

"Your cottage?"

"Well, you'll need to be close to the bakery to keep an eye on things." he said casually.

Their cottage was a nice size, and off the main road. Nell had always admired its charm. Was it really going to be hers? This was surely a dream. Good things like this never happened to her.

"Mr. Elliott, I can't thank you enough!" she hugged him tightly.

"Well, I'll go and have the paperwork drawn up first thing tomorrow. Now, enough talk. Go get that baby of yours!" he ordered affectionately.

Nell was still talking with Mrs. Elliott when Mr. Elliott arrived at home. They went over a few details and when Bub got fussy, Nell finally went on her way.

She couldn't believe this blessing had came to her. _Her._ It seemed impossible and yet by tomorrow the paperwork would be drawn up. She would own her own business. Her own place to live and raise her son. It was like a dream come true.

From a distance as she approached the caravan she could see Sid leaning against it, shoulder propped with a cigarette in his mouth. Despite her efforts to ignore him she had become familiar with his silhouette. His tall, strong, confident...

_Stop it._

Those thoughts would get her no where. A man like him would never look twice at someone like her. She came as a two-for-one special. Not many men would ever want her with that stipulation. Something of which she was well and truly aware.

"Hello," she greeted him.

"Hello," he quickly stomped his cigarette and blew the smoke away. "I just came to get some more of my things."

"Oh. So, are you leaving again?" she asked.

"No, not this time. Mrs. M has offered me her couch for a night or two," he shrugged, "Then, who knows."

"I'm sorry about all this. I really feel like I'm in the way." she said as she looked down.

Sid stepped closer to her and gently hooked his thumb under her chin. He tilted her face up towards him. "You aren't."

Her heart sped up, and she stepped out of his grasp. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, but it was no use because her heart was the one sending the signals.

"Do you mind if I pop inside?" he asked.

"Go ahead." she told him.

She stood outside while he gathered some of his belongings.

"You might be moving back here sooner than you think." she said to him.

"Is that right?" he asked.

"Mr. and Mrs. Elliott have offered me their cottage." she beamed.

"Where they goin'?" he stuck his head out the door.

"They're moving to Cornwall apparently."

Her eyes seemed far away. Sid would give a pound to know what she was thinking.

"Ah," he stepped down.

He wanted to find a reason not to leave. He wanted to be in her company.

"Listen, about what happened the first time we met," he began.

Her cheeks turned crimson. "I know...it was all a misunderstanding."

"It was, Nell. It truly was."

"I'd rather just forget it all to be honest, Sid. We don't need to bring it up." she brushed past him.

"All right. It's forgotten. As long as you know...I'd never hurt you." he almost whispered the last words, but she heard them.

She heard them and they gave her heart hope.

_**Thank you everyone who has given this a read. This has been an awful week, and so I hope that if you're having a bad week as well that this story can cheer you up!**_


	5. Building Bridges

**Chapter Five**

"What do you mean?"

Nell sank into a chair in the office of the bakery. She thought she might be sick.

"I'm sorry Nell. I told them they're all pig-headed fools, if that helps." Mr. Elliott rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, "They just won't allow the transfer to a single woman."

Nell swallowed dryly, "So, you'll have to sell?"

The old man sighed, "Looks like it if something else doesn't come through."

"And there's no way I could buy," she whispered.

"If you're married by the end of the month, the transfer can go through, legally." Mr. Elliott told her.

She laughed a sad laugh, "Be serious."

"Well, it's worth a shot."

"I don't want to marry." she insisted.

Mr. Elliott looked at her knowingly, "You've had your heart broken, lass. The pain won't last forever. Sooner or later you'll have to learn to trust again."

She knew he was right. Deep down she did have a yearning for love. True love. A real love that could hold her, protect her...heal her past wounds. She'd done a great deal of that on her own, but still it would be nice to just...be held.

"Thank you for everything you tried to do for me, Mr. Elliott."

"I'm still intending to transfer, little lady. We'll find a way."

Nell was a realist. She knew that the bakery would never be hers.

Later that evening Sid looked at the clock. Only an hour until his shift was over. He promised to help out at the Red Lion this evening, but his shift was dull and going by slow. Not to mention the very worst part, no drinking on the job.

"Father! Am I happy to see you!" Sid exclaimed as Father Brown walked through the doors.

"Well, it's no coincidence I'm here. I came to see you."

"What about?"

"I've just been to see Nell." Father Brown pulled up a seat at the bar and leaned in close to talked to Sid.

"Oh yeah? How's she doing?" Sid asked curiously.

"Not good," Father Brown replied.

Sid almost dropped the glass he was cleaning. "Why? What's the matter?"

"She told you about the Elliott's moving to Cornwall, and leaving her their cottage?"

"Yeah." Sid answered.

"Mr. Elliott has just been told that the town won't allow the bakery to be owned by a single woman. Especially not an unwed mother." Father Brown said.

"What? That's ridiculous! What about the cottage?"

Father Brown shook his head sadly.

Sid cursed out loud, earning him a look of disapproval from the Father.

"Sorry." he muttered, "Poor girl really had her heart set on that."

"Yes, well...I thought you could bring her some dinner when your shift is over. Maybe cheer her up?" Father Brown suggested.

"She don't want to see me, Father. Guaranteed."

"She needs a friend right now, Sid." Father Brown assured him.

Sid wanted to argue more, but he knew there was no use. So when his shift was over he boxed up some dinner and made his way to the caravan. He found Nell sitting by the fire in the fading sunlight. The baby was sleeping in a basket nearby. She was staring into the fire so intently that she didn't hear Sid's approach.

"Anyone home?" Sid called as he got closer.

Nell jumped. "Sid! You scared me. I didn't hear you coming."

"I noticed." He held out the bag of food, "I brought you some dinner."

Nell looked at the bag curiously, "Why?" she asked.

"Nell." Sid shook his head, "Can you just say thank you and take the food please?"

She fought hard not to be offended. Finally realizing that he was right she took the bag from his hands.

"Coincidentally I brought enough for two," he grinned at her, "So I hope you want company."

Nell smiled at Sid, "Sure."

Sid's heart melted a little. He was already attracted to her, but he could feel something more was happening. Something he wasn't sure he wanted to happen, but he knew he couldn't control.

As they ate he gently probed her with questions about herself. He tried not to be too obvious, but being Sidney Carter he failed miserably.

"By now I'm sure Father Brown has told you all about me."

Sid blanched.

"I thought so. You wouldn't be spending time here with me unless you felt sorry for me." She stood up, "Save your pity, Sid."

She turned away to pick up the baby, but Sid caught her hand in a instant and turned her around.

"You save _your _pity, Nell. Yeah, Father Brown told me about you, but I'm here 'cause I wanna be." he told her sternly.

Sidney loosened his grip on her arm, only just remembering her past trauma. "I'm sorry."

"Why? I'm a single mother. Unwed. Damaged goods." she shrugged.

"Haven't you heard about me?" he asked with a sly grin.

"I've heard a lot about you, actually." she said sarcastically.

"Ha ha very funny. Well, actually I meant that I'm known for fixing what's broken."

He slid his fingers down to Nell's hands and grasped it in his. She looked at Sid's hand, and the full meaning of his words sank in.

"Sid-"

"Hey, we can take things as slow as you want. All I know is that I've been goin' crazy thinking about you. Since he first time we met and you threw me out of my own house." he winked at her.

"I'm a mother, Sid. Bub comes first in my life..."

"I just want a chance to spend some time with you. Both of you." he said.

He stepped closer and wrapped her up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. She wanted to resist. Everything in her past was telling her not to trust, to run away, to fight. However, there was just something about Sid. It felt so pure, and Nell found herself melting into his embrace.

_**Thanks to those who read this story faithfully! Or if you're new here, welcome and I hope you enjoy!**_


	6. Thinking Out Loud

**Chapter Six**

Nell sat on a pew inside St. Mary's church with Bub cradled in her arms. It was Sunday afternoon and she'd come here to pray, but she couldn't find the words. Everything she wanted to say to God was in her heart. Surely he knew. She heard Father Brown approaching and opened her eyes.

"I don't mean to disturb you." he whispered.

"You aren't." she smiled, "God and I were just having a... silent conversation."

"I see. Well, I wanted to invite you to dinner tonight at the prespretary. Sid will be there, and Mrs. McCarthy."

"I wouldn't want to intrude,"

"You can't intrude where you're invited," he told her.

"Oh, all right," she agreed with a smile.

"I'm afraid I've heard about the bakery transfer. I'm truly sorry. I don't think it's right."

"I understand why they're blocking it. I really do, it just...breaks my heart." she whispered.

"God hears even our silent prayers." he patted her shoulder turned to go, "I'll see you at seven." he called over his shoulder.

"Yes, Father."

That evening after dinner Bub was sleeping in a laundry basket provided by Mrs. McCarthy, and the adults were sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee. All except Sid who was sipping on a whiskey neat. Nell had purchased a lovely scented candle as a gift for Father Brown and he proudly lit it and had it displayed on the center of the table.

The ambiance was warm and welcoming as the group sat conversing. Mrs. McCarthy was bound to bring up what she'd heard about the halt of the bakery transfer. Nell had already prepared herself for the well-meaning older woman's opinions.

"I heard that if you marry they'll allow the transfer, and even into your name!" Mrs. M said, as if it was all so simple.

"Yes, that is what Mr. Elliott told me." Nell shook her head.

"God will make a way," Father Brown told her.

"I know." she was still shaking her head, "I doubt, however that the solution will be marriage."

Sid was uncharacteristically silent. In fact, he'd barely spoken all evening. Bub started to fuss and Mrs. McCarthy picked him up and patted his back.

"Well, you never know." she said kindly.

Nell shrugged her shoulders, "I'm happy as I am."

Mrs. M gave her a scandalized look as if to say "_How could you possibly be happy?_"

Nell looked at the clock, "Oh! I should be going now. Thank you, Father for inviting me."

Sid and Father Brown stood as Nell left the table, with Sid following close behind her. He helped her into her coat while Mrs. M held Bub. His knuckles brushed gently across her cheek, and to her surprise the sensation left her curious. Curious of Sidney Carter. Nell knew not all men were bad. Father Brown for instance, although that was different. He was a celibate priest who devoted his life to God. A truly virtuous man.

In her experience sex, or the desire for it made most men change. For the worst. The scars of her past were present with her everyday. The memories. The nightmares. The fear, shame, and heartbreak. When she looked at Sid, with his crooked smile and magnetic charm she wished...she prayed he could be different. She needed him to be because after all, she was already falling for him.

Mrs. M handed Bub to Nell with a kiss on the head. Sid placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her from the room to the door. Her cheeks flushed and once again she felt her traitorous heart being pulled further and further from its cage.

Sid was unusually quiet on the way back to the caravan. His face was stoic. Nell was paying too much attention to him, and didn't see the small hole in the road. She stepped directly into it causing her ankle to twist. She yelped in pain and stumbled forward hanging onto Bub with all her might. Sid's arm reached out and caught her around the waist before she hit the dirt.

"My ankle! I think it's twisted it." she gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Can you put any pressure on it?" he asked.

Nell stood straight and attempted a step. It hurt badly, but she could walk.

"Yes, I can walk. I'll be okay. It hurts a lot though."

She fought back tears. Something wasn't right with her foot, but she didn't want to be a bother. Her act wasn't lost on Sid. He eyed her suspiciously before motioning to her,

"Here give me Bub,"

"No, I've got him."

She attempted to solider on clutching her baby tightly through the pain.

"You can barely walk. Let me have him. I won't hurt him, I promise. I'm good with kids." he smiled.

"Do you even know any children at all?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do." he replied.

"Who, may I ask?"

Sid thought for a moment, "Bub of course." he answered and then stepped toward her and took Bub from her arms.

"Hold his head!" Nell cautioned him.

Sid smiled and draped Bub over his shoulder, placing his hand on his back. The baby boy was fast asleep and couldn't be bothered to fuss. Nell was surprised at how big Sid's hand looked compared to Bub's head. He flashed her a proud looked and then entwined their arms and let her lean on him for support.

"I don't need to lean on you." Nell insisted as they walked.

"You're lucky I'm holdin' this baby. If not you'd be the one slung over my shoulder." Sid scolded her.

Nell wasn't quite sure how to react to his statement, but from somewhere inside her she felt laughter bubble up. She giggled at first and then the more she thought about it she laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" Sid asked.

"Just imagining the looks we'd get." she told him.

"I'm used to funny looks."

She smiled at him coyly. "Why do you do the things you do?"

"What'd you mean?"

"The rogue stuff, steal, cheat..."

"Hey now!" he said indignantly.

"Well, a girl hears things, and she wonders if it's safe to be walking at night with such a man."

He slowed his step, "Have you ever felt unsafe around me?"

Her mind flashed to their first few meetings. "Once I got to know you, no."

That gave Sid some measurement of comfort. He sighed, "I didn't have no parents growin' up. Got used to earning a penny however I could. Odd jobs, and sometimes yeah I stole a bit."

"All that's in the past though?"

"Mostly." he winked.

They arrived at the caravan just then. Sid took Bub inside and Nell attempted to pull herself up, but wasn't able to put the weight on her ankle. Sid laid the baby down on the bed and came to the doorway.

"You want a hand?" he asked.

"Yes, please."

To her surprise Sid reached down and wrapped one arm around her waist pulling her up into the caravan and tightly against his chest. For one weak moment she thought she might swoon. Especially when he didn't let her go. He gazed down into her eyes, the eyes he once saw such sadness in, and realized that he saw something much more there now.

"I should let you go." he whispered. He was just thinking out loud, not even realizing he had spoken.

The silence stretched on, and knowing he shouldn't, but not being able to help himself Sid lowered his lips towards hers. Nothing much separating them except for Sid's will power which by reputation was not very strong.

"I can't." Nell said breathlessly, "Please, no."

Sid immediately turned her loose. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and stepped away from her, ashamed. Nell reached out and brushed her fingers against his cheek as if to say he didn't have to apologize. He held her hand against his cheek.

"Would you let me be there for you, Nell?" he whispered.

"I'd never ask you to-"

"But I want to be," he interrupted.

"Why, Sid?"

He brought her hand down from his cheek, but didn't let it go.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I just want to be. I know you've been through it, but I'd never hurt you. I'd do my best to be the kind of man you need."

"It's not just me, Sid. I could afford to have my heart broken again, but Bub," she gazed longingly at her baby boy, "I don't want him to feel the pain of that."

"You don't think I'm good enough." he said flatly.

"Of course I do! It isn't that. It's just...well you don't really even know me that well. We've only been friends for a short time. I don't want you to regret your decision to get involved with us."

"I know my own mind. And I don't often have regrets." he stepped towards her.

Her walls were crumbling all at once, and her longing for love was bleeding through the walls around her heart. Sid took both her hands in his and pulled her close once again.

He whispered, "Marry me."

_**Oh, Sidney. **_

_**Please leave a review :)**_


	7. Something Unfamiliar

**Chapter Seven**

"Marry me."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"What?" she scoffed, "Sid, you can't be serious."

"I am. I'm serious, Nell. Marry me. It's the solution to all your problems. Not to mention it would put me over the moon."

She stared at him with her mouth open. Shocked.

"Don't you see we could be so happy."

He let go of her hand and she limped over to the bed where she sat down and put her hand to her head.

"Sidney," she chided him gently, "You don't want to marry me."

"If I didn't want to marry you, I would never have asked in the first place."

"Sid, from what I've heard one woman would never be enough for you." Nell rolled her eyes and forced a smile.

Sid sat across from her on the small couch. His frame folding out and his legs touching hers.

"Nell, I'm not asking you to give me anything you don't want to give willingly."

She blushed and looked down, "This is all just because you feel sorry for me. Marriage is sacred. I can't just marry you to save myself from poverty."

"Well, I'd hope that wouldn't be the only reason. You do have feelings for me, don't you?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded.

"Good then. Say yes, Nell. We can figure this out as slowly as you want, but let me help you now."

"Oh, Sid. You wouldn't just be becoming a husband to a woman of...questionable virtue, you'd also be stepping into the role of father."

"There's nothing questionable about your virtue, Nell. And I think I'd be rather good at the parenting thing. Teach him to fish, that sort of thing."

Nell's mind wandered. Visions of Bub and Sid walking through the woods with fishing poles in hand played in her mind. A smile on Bub's face, and Sid looking more handsome than ever. Could she ever really have happiness like that?

"You don't have to answer tonight, but for the transfer to go through it'll have to be soon. I'm not going anywhere. I fully intend to give you my heart, whether you like it or not. Now, let's see that ankle."

She sighed as he slowly lifted her swollen foot onto his lap. He removed her shoe, and examined her ankle through her stocking. She cringed in pain.

"Can you take your stocking off?" he asked in a hushed tone.

She oblinged and slid it down to her shin at which point Sid hooked his finger in the delicate hosiery.

"May I?"

The pain seemed to worsen by the minute, and with her foot elevated she could feel it throbbing. She nodded somewhat reluctantly, and Sid began to pull her stocking down off her foot. He caressed her ankle, his nimble thief's fingers examining the swollen bruise. Nell had never experienced the careful, loving touch of a man before. Not like this.

He spent a good while tenderly inspecting. "I'd say you've got a bad sprain." he whispered. He didn't release her foot. Instead, he let his fingers slide over her calf and down to her toes. Nell suppressed a moan at the gentle caress. She'd never lusted over a man before. She knew it was a sin to lust in your heart, but she was fairly certain the feelings she was having were indeed lustful.

Her mind flashed to the first time the reverend touched her. She felt sick. She thought it might vomit on him on the spot, but he choked her. He put his hands around her neck and squeezed until she saw spots. He threatened her life, even as he tore the clothes from her body. When it was over he pushed off of her and left her weeping, bruised and feeling utterly ruined.

Since then she had learned that her value was something that could never be taken from her. The world may see her as a victim, or as "damaged goods", but she knew deep down that wasn't the case. She was a mother. A woman. Sid was awakening things inside her that she never knew she could feel.

"It hurts," she whispered, "But that feels good."

Her cheeks burned horribly at her admission. No doubt a man like Sidney Carter had heard more racy comments than hers, but still she felt embarassed.

"You need some whiskey."

"I don't drink." she waved off the flask he offered.

"Aspirin, then." he continued massaging her foot.

"It's there in the cupboard. Top shelf.."

Sid gently sat her foot down and got the medicine. He poured her a cup of water from the pitcher and handed it to her. She took the pills and handed Sid the cup back. He leaned against the door.

"I better head out. It's getting late." he said quietly. Everything within him wanted to lay down with her. Hold her. Just...hold her.

"I will see you in the morning?" she asked him.

"Of course you will. I'll be by first thing with some crutches. You won't be able to walk on that ankle for a few days."

She smiled at him, "Good night, Sidney."

"Goodnight."

He'd given her a lot to think about, but he hoped she would say yes. How hard could being a husband be? And a father? The boy was only a little baby. He knew he wasn't exactly a great role model, but his life had changed a lot in the past few years. He was a better man now. A sort of man who could protect Nell and her baby. He wanted her. Not just in the biblical way, although he'd often thought of that, no he wanted her to be _his_.

Nell laid her head down on the pillow and thought about Sid's question. She needed to give him an answer, but she wanted it to be for the right reasons. She felt certain she could easily fall for him, but just because you love someone doesn't mean you're meant to marry that person. His proposal was unconventional to say the least, but still very gallant. She could ask Father Brown for council, but at the end of the day ultimately it was her who had to make the choice. She looked over at her sleeping baby boy. Could this be the answer to her prayers?

The next morning Sid dropped off the crutches and then headed over to the prespretary to get started on some work for Father Brown. He had the surprise of his life when the sauntered into the kitchen.

"Lady F!"

"Hello Sidney." his former employer beamed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Monty is in London on business so I thought I'd tag along and pay a visit to my favorite people."

"Well, it's good to have you home."

"Naturally, I'll need a driver while I'm here. I'm assuming I can rely on you."

"Of course." he told her.

"Not too busy with your _new girlfriend_?" she inquired with a sly grin.

Sid turned his eyes on Father Brown, "What? I didn't know it was a secret." the Father shrugged.

"It isn't. Nell isn't my girlfriend, technically." Sid clarified.

"Oh I see. Well, maybe you can tell me what _exactly_ she is while you drive me home? Hornby picked me up from the station and drove me straight here. I had my car dropped off a bit ago so we're all set."

"Father?" Sid looked at him.

"It's all right, Sid. Plenty of time for you to finish these jobs around here."

"All right then, Milady."

They headed out the door together. Sid opened the door for her, "Just like old times,"

Sid chuckled as he closed the door behind her.

He was of course, coaxed into spilling the beans about Nell as he drove. Felicia was like a proud mother.

"Who would have thought that scruffy young man that used to drive me around would grow up to be a husband and father." she gushed.

"Right, well she hasn't said yes yet now has she?" Sid reminded her.

"Sidney, if you're quite sure you want to marry this girl then you need a ring."

Sid shrugged, "Nell don't care for material things."

"Maybe not, but it would be special." Felicia argued, "Let me help you. I'm sure I can find something to her taste."

Sid was quiet. To be honest he didn't know much about Nell's taste. She was beautiful, quiet, and lovely. Obviously hardworking, and tough as well. Maybe Lady Felicia was right. Nell deserved a ring.

"All right." Sid agreed.

"Perfect!" Lady F exclaimed.

The more he thought about giving Nell a ring the more real it became to him. Could he actually be the man she needed? He knew nothing about being a husband and even less about being a father.

Suddenly, he was filled with doubt.

Was this the right thing?

_**Please leave a review! XOXOXO**_


	8. The Answer

**Chapter Eight.**

The ring was burning a hole in Sid's pocket. He had asked Mrs. M to baby-sit Bub so that he and Nell could have dinner together. She still hadn't given him an official answer, but he planned to change that tonight. He decorated a table with a nice linen, not to mention the candles. They'd eat by candle light outside the caravan.

Sid persuaded Mrs. M to let him clip some flowers from her garden. That had taken a _lot _of persuasion. Lady F had given Sid the Rolls for the evening. He brushed and styled his hair, and put on his best shirt with a nice jacket. When he pulled up in front of the bakery Nell's mouth fell open.

"Sid?" she raised her eyebrows.

He hopped out of the car and opened the passenger door for her. "Your chariot."

She gave him a questioning look. "What's going on? Who does this car belong to?"

"You and I are having a special evening," he told her.

"What about Bub?"

"Mrs. M has him. We'll pick him up later tonight."

Nell's heart beat sped up dramatically. An evening without Bub? It was exciting and sad for her at the same time. They'd never been separated before. Not to mention the thought of being _completely alone _with Sidney made her more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

She looked him up and down before sliding into the seat and letting him shut the door behind her. He jogged around to the driver's seat and fired up the engine.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Where are we going? And why are you so dressed up? I look an awful fright. I'm sure there's flour in my hair." she tried to smooth down her wayward wisps.

"Don't worry, that's all sorted out. I've got a couple dresses for you to choose. I know how picky women can be."

Nell's eyes widened, "Okay Sidney Carter, whatever you say."

Nell knew enough about Sidney to stop asking questions and just go with the flow. Sid took things as they came. Slow to some, Nell knew his brain worked quicker than just about anyone, bar Father Brown of course. She had to admit he was so handsome. More handsome than she'd ever seen him.

Well, there was that night of the storm. That night still felt like a dream. Nell wasn't sure it ever really happened. When he bust through her door hair soaking wet and hanging in his blue eyes. His clothes clung to his skin and his cheeks were red. Nell knew the scene by heart. The fear she felt initially melted into thankfulness and security as Sid pulled her and Bub against his chest.

He was her savior that night and when the chaos dissipated and the storm calmed she remembered thinking how beautiful he looked. A man and a boy wrapped in one. She knew then, that night that something was special about Sidney Carter. When she woke in the morning he was gone. She felt a pang in her heart when he wasn't there, and more so _because _he wasn't. He knew she wasn't fond of him, didn't trust him...yet. And he respected that. To Nell that said a lot about him as a man.

When they arrived at the caravan Sid let Nell go inside and get cleaned up. She saw the dresses on the bed laying next to an envelope addressed to her. She opened it.

_Dearest Nell,_

_Sidney has told me all about you and your son. Don't tell anyone, but I am very fond of children and can't wait to meet you both. Please enjoy these dresses and think of them as a gift for looking after Sid. _

_-Lady Felicia Montague._

She'd heard Sid and the others talk fondly about the mysterious Lady Felicia. So far she lived up to the hype. Nell eyed the beautiful dresses. In the end she chose a navy blue gown with gold flowers. The top hung off of her shoulders slightly. She dusted the flour from her hair and took it down, letting it fall just past her shoulders. She didn't have any matching shoes so she left her feet bare.

Sid looked up as she emerged from the caravan and knew in that moment that he wanted her to be his wife more than anything in the world. He was suddenly very nervous. She could say no.

"Well, how do I look?" she asked

"Gorgeous." Sid blurted out.

Nell blushed, "Thank you."

Sid escorted her behind the caravan where their candle lit dinner awaited thanks to Father Brown who made sure it was set up and ready. Sid was praying the priest wasn't still in the midst of preparations as they rounded the corner. Thankfully, he was nowhere to be seen.

Nell took in the scene before her. A vase of vibrant flowers sat on the table with candles on either side. It was lovely. She couldn't believe Sid went through all the trouble, but then again he probably thought it was no trouble at all. He pulled oit her chair for her and seated himself at the table. They ate and conversed, and Sid found himself staring at Nell frequently. How a man could hurt any woman, but especially someone like Nell he would never understand.

Finally, when it felt like he really couldn't wait another second Sid slipped his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out the ring.

"I've got you something. If you want it it's yours, but you have to really want it," he told her as he came to kneel in front of her. "I'm not good at this stuff, Nell. But I'm good at a lot of other things, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life showing you. I wanna have you and Bub as my family. I hope you want that too." he shrugged in true Sid fashion.

Nell didn't even look at the ring. All she could see was Sid's face, and what she saw there made the decision for her. She saw love. She knew the feeling of love, she'd experienced with Bub. This was just as strong but also different.

"Yes! I want that too, Sidney. If you're sure."

"Stop asking if I'm sure!" he laughed and slipped the ring on her finger.

He held her hand and looked into her eyes. He was so relieved. He was still on his knees, but they were face to face as he pulled her closer. Sid didn't want to push, but somehow he knew that Nell was ready. He pressed his lips to hers ever so slightly. She melted against him completely. He deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her.

Nell was lost and found all at once when her lips were against Sid's. Every hurt, every pain she'd ever felt seemed to lessen. She could smell his breath, taste the sweet tea he'd been drinking. All too soon he pulled away and searched her eyes. They were brimming with tears.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried beyond measure he'd pushed too far.

"I'm so happy." she pulled him close again and whispered against his lips.

"Good," he let out a sigh of relief, "Do you like the ring?"

_The ring_.

She hadn't even really looked at it. She pulled her hand up and examined the silver band wrapped round her finger. It was adorned with an elegant pearl. Perhaps the most beautiful but dainty thing Nell had ever laid eyes on, and she loved it completely.

"I love it, Sid." she kissed him again.

"Are we really going to do this?" he breathed against her mouth.

"Yes." she grinned.

"Can it be tomorrow?" he asked.

"Tomorrow? That's soon."

"I'm a doer, not much for dragging somethin' out. Besides, don't you wanna marry me?" he gave her a cheeky look.

Nell took a deep breath, "Tomorrow it is."


	9. Wedding Scene

_**Blasting 'Beautiful In White' by Shane Filan. **_

**Chapter Nine**

"Should I really be wearing white?" Nell whispered as Mrs. McCarthy made alterations on her wedding dress. A gown Lady Felicia was going to wear on her own wedding day many years ago.

"Nonsense!" Lady F said, "And besides it's not true white now is it? It's more of an ivory." she gazed lovingly at the silk gown.

Mrs. M grabbed the paper sitting on the end table. "I forgot to show you, I was able to get your announcement to the printer's in time! Now you can cut it out and have it framed."

"Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy! Lady Felicia are you sure you want me to wear your dress?" Nell asked.

"Of course. Someone should get to wear it, after all."

"Why didn't you?" Nell asked.

Felicia sighed, "I was told it wasn't suitable for a society wedding. I wore my mother's gown. It was beautiful, but I just always loved this one." she reached out and touched the delicate lace sleeves.

"I think I've sewn the last of it. Try it on." Mrs. M handed Nell the dress, "You'll need help with the buttons once it's on."

Nell disappeared into Mrs. McCarthy's bedroom. In just a few minutes she would be married. To Sid. She was so happy...and so nervous. She slipped on the long silk gown. It flowed out at her feet and had a long train. The lace sleeves ended by her elbows and the buttons in the back were lace covered. Nell glanced in the mirror and hardly recognized herself.

She appeared in the doorway and the two ladies gasped. Mrs. M clasped her hands together.

"Come dear, let's get you buttoned up."

They buttoned her dress, and pinned her hair back at the nape of her neck. They placed her veil on her head, and Felicia gave her a pearl hairpin to hold it well in place. One last glance in the mirror and it was time to go.

"She's _late_!" Sid took out the pocket watch Father Brown had given him years ago.

"She's on her way, I'm sure." the Father assured him.

Sid nervously bounced Bub and paced St. Mary's. Father Brown looked at Sid. No longer a boy. His heart swelled with pride.

"Thank the Lord!" Sid exclaimed as Mrs. McCarthy and Lady Felicia bounded through the doors.

The church was empty, save for their small group and Mr. and Mrs. Elliott. Plus a man Sid hired to play the violin. Their footsteps echoed through the church. Mrs. M took her seat as Father Brown went to accompany Nell down the aisle to her groom. Lady Felicia greeted Sidney with a kiss.

"I'm very proud of you, Sid. I hope you know that. So terribly proud." her eyes welled with tears.

"All right, all right. That's enough of that." he said. But even so he gathered her up in a hug before passing Bub into her arms. She took the baby to her seat and held him. Sid stared at the back of the church as the violin started to play. He really couldn't stand organs, and he was glad he didn't have to listen to one at the most nerve-wracking moment of his life.

Then there she was. For a split second he wasn't sure it was her. She looked like an absolute angel. Too perfect for this world. Too delicate for the rough hands of Sidney Carter, and yet she had a toughness about her that matched even his. Her eyes locked onto him and for once in his life he felt his cheeks burning. It was as if she could see into his soul. No doubt she really could.

_Hurry and get up here to me._

The closer she got to the front of the church, the further Sid fell in love. Her veil didn't cover her face and he could see she was blushing too. A pretty pink hue was spreading over her porcelain cheeks.

As she marched up the aisle on Father Brown's arm Sid thought it was fitting. He'd never known his father, not really and since he was a child Father Brown had been as a father to him. Nell had no one either, her parents abandoned her when she became pregnant with Bub. They cared not about the circumstances. They simply cut her off.

Here she was though...happier than ever. Glowing.

Finally, after what seemed like forever she made it to his side. His hands were shaking as he took hers. The Father stood in front of them and began the ceremony. Her eyes were shining in the candles. She turned around and gave Bub a wave before stealing a glance up at Sid. Upon Sid's request Father Brown breezed through some of the heavier rituals. After all, he had only been to Mass once in 18 years.

"If any man can show just cause why these two may not be lawfully joined together let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

Knowing no one there would speak the Father pushed forward to the Lord's prayer.

"Our Father-"

"Stop!" a voice cried from the back of the church. "I forbid this wedding to proceed!"

Father Brown's head jerked up and his eyes narrowed. Sid turned around with a face like thunder, but Nell stood frozen. She didn't turn to look, but her hand caught Sid just as he was about to stomp towards the man.

"Don't" she whispered, "Please just...stay. Let Father Brown handle it."

"You know him." Sid deduced.

"He's...my father." she choked out, barely audible.

Father Brown walked down the aisle stopping midway. Lady Felicia and Mrs. M looked on in horror and disgust.

"Do you mind telling me who you are?" Father Brown asked.

"I'm _her _father!" he pointed a finger towards Nell, who still hadn't turned to face him.

She squeezed Sid's hand.

"Even so, you need to provide _just_ cause why they may not be _lawfully _joined." Father Brown continued.

"I have ample _just cause_." he spat.

"Go on."

"Father!" Sid exclaimed.

"No, Sid. I must hear the evidence." Father Brown said.

Sid rolled his eyes and started to pace. Nell crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes, waiting for it to be over.

"The evidence is right there." he pointed to Bub. "She's a whore!"

Whatever restraint Sid had snapped. Before Father Brown could stop him Sid breezed past the priest and punched the man in the mouth knocking him down. Lady Felicia gasped and Mrs. M uttered a _"Holy Mother!" _

"Sidney, no!" Nell shrieked and went after him.

Mrs. McCarthy disappeared into the office to call the police.

The man, Nell's father rubbed his bloody mouth on his sleeve. "And you, oh I know all about you. The thief. The ex con. You're as bad as her."

Nell pulled Sid away and stood in front of him to face her father.

"Father, you need to leave." she said quietly.

"You should have gotten rid of that...thing! No one would have been the wiser and you could've made a good match instead of settling for..._him_. But no, you had to keep the evil spawn-"

"That is enough!" Father Brown raised his voice.

Felicia cradled Bub tightly against her chest sickened by the man's comments about an innocent baby. Nell was quite literally holding Sid back.

Just then Sergeant Goodfellow tip-toed his way inside the church and quietly hauled the man outside without a word. Sid braced himself on a pew and leaned over. He exhaled and closed his eyes.

"The things that man said-" Sid gritted out, "He's lucky to have left with all his teeth!"

"He's a monster," Nell whispered. "He always has been."

The group took a moment to collect themselves as Mrs. McCarthy reappeared.

"Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy." Father Brown said.

"Yes, jolly good thinking Mrs. M." Lady F whispered to her.

Nell touched Sidney's shoulder, "Sid?"

"Please tell me you still wanna do this?" he turned to face her.

"Of course! Get up there to the altar so we can be married."

Sid grinned, "Thank God for you, Nell!" he leaned down to kiss her just as Father Brown cleared his throat.

"Let's save that for the grand finale shall we?"

"Of course, Father." Nell smiled.

"Wait," Sid told them before jogging back and fetching Bub from Lady Felicia's arms. He carried his son with him to the altar. "All right. We're ready."

They finalized their nuptials with smiles on their faces despite the earlier interruption. As shaken as Nell was by the appearance of her father nothing could dampen her happiness and excitement at becoming Mrs. Sidney Carter.

After the ceremony they had an intimate dinner. Nell, Sid, and Bub smiled for pictures. They were all so at ease in each other's company. Father Brown couldn't remember a time when he'd seen Sid so happy.

"_Mrs_. Carter," Mr. Elliott greeted Nell, "We have some good news."

"Yes?" Nell asked as she poured herself a cup of punch.

Sid came to stand beside her wrapping his arm around her middle.

"The transfer will go through at the end of the month! And as for the cottage, we'll be leaving at the end of the week. The cottage will be ready for you to move in on Saturday." Mr. Elliott told her.

Mrs. Elliott gathered her up in a hug. "We're so happy for you dear! Please send us lots of pictures."

"I will, I promise!" Nell said.

When the party was over Nell and Sid kissed Bub as he went home with Lady Felicia for the evening. Nell was well aware of what a wedding night traditionally consisted of, and the more she thought of it the more nervous she became.

_**Awww. They're cute. **_


	10. Phoenix

**Chapter Ten**

Nell and Sid stood outside the caravan. Both hesitating going inside, but each for different reasons.

"Be a bit difficult to carry you across the threshold here." Sid remarked.

Nell smiled, "You can carry me across when we move into the cottage."

"Right then." Sid nodded before hoisting Nell up into the caravan. She laughed and pulled the train of her dress inside. Sid climbed in after her and shut the door. They were face to face in the darkness of the caravan. Sid dug in his pocket for his lighter. He found it and flicked it to life. The tiny flame lit up the small space. Nell snapped it closed, extinguishing the flame.

"Actually, this might be easier for me with no lights." she said nervously.

Sid wanted to object, but he knew better so he tossed his lighter onto a shelf and slid his hands down to Nell's hips. He gave them a squeeze and lowered his mouth for a kiss. She was more than willing, even though her lips were trembling.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just excited, or nervous. A little scared too." she admitted.

"Oh, Nell." Sid sighed.

He pulled her further into his arms and held her against his chest. Just held her. Something he had longed to do for so long. He looked down at the simple silver band on his hand. He was a husband now. From this point on he had a responsibility. He was aware of this before, but now holding his wife in his arms it really sank in for him.

After some time he felt her fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. It was difficult not to push ahead full force, but he managed to take it slow as he slid his hands to the back of her dress. She finished with the buttons on his shirt and he let it fall to the floor. She splayed her hands on his chest, her hands sliding through the silky hair that she always saw peeking out of his shirts. Whatever prowess or experience he had with women faded away with Nell. Everything seemed new to him like he was living it all for the first time, and silently he cursed himself for not waiting for Nell. She was well and truly the _one_.

He kissed her shoulder and walked behind her. With a total of fifteen buttons and the dress holding sentimental value he took his time slowly exposing the much more revealing slip she wore underneath. He slipped his hands inside the dress smoothed his fingers against her skin. He bent and pulled the dress down, sliding his nose against her spine. She stepped timidly out of the dress and he carefully laid it aside.

He'd never been to enthralled with a woman before. His eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness and he could see her perfectly. Her hand reached out to touch his chest as she stepped closer. Her hand went behind his head and tangled in his hair. She stood on her toes and kissed him.

She pressed her body against him. A deep, aching need to be close to the man who was now her husband. Whatever was holding Sid back crumbled in an instant and he lifted her up into his arms and laid her down on the bed. He brazenly slid his hands under the slip and pulled it from her body. His lips met her skin in all the places he'd been dreaming about.

Nell couldn't stop shaking as adrenaline flowed through her veins. It was all like a dream. Sid's hands were healing. It was as if everywhere he touched her became washed clean. Her hands were at his belt, but she couldn't quite work up the courage. He kissed her neck and took over for her at the task.

Despite the cool evening Nell could feel a bead of sweat at the nape of her neck.

Sid was on top of her, his nose nuzzling under her ear.

"Mrs. Carter?" he whispered.

Nell hugged him closer and he took that as his answer.

Some time later they lay tangled up in a sheet blissfully sated. Sid hadn't stopped touching her all night.

"I still can't believe you married me. I've got to be the luckiest bloke in the world."

Nell smiled, "Sidney, there's something I feel like I should have told you...before we...well before we did...well, earlier."

"What is it?"

"I love you."

Sid pulled her closer and kissed her mouth, "I love you too."

The next morning came late for the newlyweds. They tumbled out of bed around ten and rode over to fetch Bub. Nell enjoyed her wedding night immensely, but she missed her child terribly. She ran to Felicia and Bub reached for her. She hugged him closely and then to her surprise and delight Bub reached for Sidney.

"Did you know? I'm your dad now, son."

From the ashes of trauma to a wonderful new beginning she knew now just what she wanted to call her son. She stared at the two men in her life. She felt so happy and proud to be Mrs. Carter. With the past long gone, Nell smiled into the wonderful unknown of what she was sure would be a beautiful future.

_**Thank you to everyone who read this. Sidney is near and dear to my heart so I hope you enjoyed seeing his softer side. Once again, THANK YOU! **_

_**Special thanks to ArtistKurai who faithfully reviewed and provided insight into the story for me!**_

_**And thanks to my Hubby who takes time out of his busy schedule to read and give feedback on all my work!**_

_**xoxoxoxo**_


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